My future son/daughter has a name

Worthless McSuckington

That’s right. A one-way ticket to lifelong success. These parents named one child “Winner” and the other “Loser.” Winner fell into a world of crime and meaningless existence, while Loser became a detective. The rational thing to do about this article is extrapolate and name your child like I will. Think of the good times…

Dad (me): “Worthless. Your latest report card makes me wish I never spawned your pathetic, oxygen-wasting carcass.”

Worthless: “Thanks dad. You’re the best. I love you.”

Shucks, why not make it fun and try to do it with magnetic poetry? I will give a prize to the person who posts the best name in the comments using only these words:

~ by wcuk on June 14, 2007.