Au revoir, XP
Like many Mac users, I have been accused of being a Windows hater. People throw rocks at me when I am in the cafe with my glowing white laptop. People stop me on the street and deride me for my faded-jeans and casualesque appearence; look at that snob, they think out loud, I bet he carries a mighty mouse around in his pocket. “Hey fanboi (sic),” they call to me. “How about one of those I’m a Mac. I’m a PC ads?” “I’ve got your spreadsheets right here, MacMan.” “Why don’t you get an iLife, loser.”
I am not going to tell you the myriad ways in which OSX is better than Windows. This has been done a thousand times in a thousand ways on the internet. In fact, I currently have Vista on my lab computer and it rocks. That’s right, the new Windows rocks. I would be happy frappy to use either one of these fine OS’s.
Today I’m preaching a different message. I want to give the world a big hug, right here.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU LIVED THROUGH THE ERA OF WINDOWS XP AND MAY POSSIBLY LIVE TO SEE ITS WIDESPREAD ERADICATION.
It wasn’t the security issues, the asinine concept of a registry, the networking which never seemed to work (raise your hand if you ever made a network “bridge”)…none of these bothered me as much as the little touches, the fine brushstrokes that gave XP its personality. I can make this list a thousand entries long, but I’ll give you 5 of my favorites for now:
- What’s that XP? There are Unused Icons on my Desktop? Thank you for this knowledge and, please, continue to remind me indefinitely that this is the case.
- What did you say? You just downloaded an update and now you want to restart. No, thanks XP, we’ll do this later. But please, keep reminding me every 5 minutes until I fail to click “Restart Later” and lose my work from your forced restart.
- No way! A wireless network is available? Please continue to remind me every minute. And please embarrass every presenter who has a powerpoint to give with said reminder.
- Where is my home directory? Where are my pictures? I think it is somewhere around: C:/Documents and Settings/All Users/Application Data/Windows/My Documents/My Files/Not Your Files/Here Be Dragons/My Pictures/The Set of All Sets That Do Not Contain Themselves/Threeve/Images That are Mine/
- It’s a new record XP! An application froze and it only took 37 ctrl+alt+del’s, 22 clicks on the red X, and 15 times telling you to “End Task” in the task manager.