Ask Kitteh, September 9, 2007

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Dear Kitteh,
Your column seems to be overwhelmingly unpopular. Do you attribute this to the fact that people don’t want to ask a cat about their life problems? Is it that you go to the potty in a box? Do they hate your liberal bias and outspoken opinions on gun control?

Best,
Willy Wonka

deer willy wonka,

does u hav a choklett bar? i lykz chokletts and no dogs can has
thems. why iz no wun axing kweschuns? tehy are teh jellus of kitteh.
reemembur…hyoomins yoos teh water for potties and it herts kittehs.
i iz thinkin tehy doan’t want hairballz so tehy doan’t ax kweschuns.
luv,
kitteh

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Kitteh,
when does “no” mean “yes”?

deer anonymous (frum 6 september),

no iz meen yes in too places:
(1) does u hav a roofy?
(2) does u hav a catnip?
yarly plz, kthx.
luv,
kitteh

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Dear Kitteh,
how the hell did your stupid column ever get popular?

deer anonymous (frum 8 september),
oh, hai.
u iz get wuts kummin to u, gun kuntroll be dammed!
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no luv,
kitteh

 

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kitteh sayz tanks fur qwestion. pls leev moar fur next weak in comments pls? k thx bai. time fur kitteh nap…

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~ by wcuk on September 9, 2007.

4 Responses to “Ask Kitteh, September 9, 2007”

  1. kitteh,
    i hear that every time someone masturbates, god kills a kitten? is that true, and if yes, why haven’t u been slaughtered?

    lots of love,
    anonymous

  2. dear kitteh,
    where do babies come from and how are they made? are you a fan of bob barker?

  3. dear kitteh,

    what are your picks for next week’s nfl games?

  4. kitteh,

    do you realize your kind are responsible for the endangerment of austrailian rabbitts and ruining much more of australia’s fragile ecosystem? can you do us all a favor and off yourself to help prevent future atrocities?

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