Ain’t no blog like a wcuk blog cause a wcuk blog dont stop…
…sucking, that is.
Last night, I got bubble tea and brought it home to drink. Don called me a woman for getting it. What am I supposed to get? Are my actions the equivalent of getting a Long Island iced tea at the bar? What is the manalogue (get it, the manly analogue? Hey, that’s clever. I am declaring a © and ™ and ® on that) of bubble tea? I didn’t know I was supposed to get some kind of beer tea with chunks of radioactive shrapnel in it. Would that be manly enough, Don? What is this, Don, a derailleur? A derailleur Don?
Enough ripping on Don. He is too easy a target anyways.
I am feeling compassionate today because I cleaned my lab desk and now have a homely, warm place to work. We also had a catered lunch in lab for a visiting post-doc, the fed cut 50 basis points off the fed funds rate, and the sun is a shining. It’s almost enough happiness to shield your eyes from the sarcastic spray of my prose hose.
But sadly, as the cliché goes, almost only counts in horseshoes and Don’s blog.
You see, the horseshoes and hand grenades line was funny because I called it a cliché, but totally ruined the saying by replacing “hand grenades” (or “quoits”, if you want to be silly) with “Don’s blog”. Here’s the zinger of the whole situation: I just said I would stop ripping on Don a few lines back. Saying one thing but doing another?
Man, that’s funny.
But I don’t even stop there! Here’s the zinger on top of the zinger: I said “almost” counts for Don’ blog…”almost funny,” that is. It’s doubleplusgood funny because I am implying his posts have a substandard level of humor without actually saying it, and all within the confines of a meta-level sub-post aimed at awkwardly extolling the explicit reason why I find myself so funny.
Ok, you’re probably on to my devious plan by now. I wrote this post with no other purpose than to flame Don for blaspheming my bubble tea. Tough love is the only way a proverbial puppy (Don) learns not to proverbially wet (question the manliness) the proverbial carpet (my bubble tea).