Ask Kitteh, September 24, 2007

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Dear Kitteh,

Lots of my friends ride bikes and feel the need to shave their body
hair to participate in this activity. Are there any activities that
you’d be willing to shave your body hair for? Or, would you consider
this practice to be just ridiculous?

deer harry,
i iz tell u a storry. i no feel lyk ryting menny wurdz so i iz giv u pikshurs.

dis mai frend lance armstrongenstein. az u kan see, not shayved. dis
foto iz took frum hi alps so importent to hav good fur.

dis mai frend zsa zsa gabornikov. does u kan see y shayve kitteh iz
bad? por zsa zsa. tehy say iz jinetiks, i iz glad i kannot has
jinetiks. but we iz hav fundrazer: for eech kitteh joyns dis faysbook
groop, i iz donayte a money for jinetiks reesurch. if groop iz reech
10 memberz, i iz not donayte moar moneys or i has no moar
cheezburgerz. den, i iz shayve fur for zsa zsa moaral suhpport. dis
iz a reezun kitteh iz shayve.

leav moar kweschuns next week, plz kthx bai.

luv,
kitteh

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~ by wcuk on September 24, 2007.

4 Responses to “Ask Kitteh, September 24, 2007”

  1. Dear Kitteh,

    Your mis-spellings and awful grammar are pretty amusing but how does wcuk reconcile that with his views on the Internet, spelling and grammar, i.e., how can he host your responses on his blog and, at the same time, condemn those who aren’t grammatically inclined? Is there a Kitteh School where you can learn to spell and write properly? What do you think of the obvious conundrum I find myself in–asking an imaginary talking/typing cat if there exists an imaginary school where said cat can learn better English skills (skillz?)?

    Paradoxically yours,
    Mike in HP

  2. dear kitteh,
    anonymous here. just to let you know, i lost money on those nfl picks (won 2, lost 2, and ur tie was wrong). we all know you are going to take the money from your fundraiser and spend it on cheeseburgers (cheezburgers in case you don’t understand english). So here are my questions:
    can you tell us your life story? how did you come to meet the degenerate we call will?

    Up your nose with a rubber hose,
    Anonymous

  3. Dear Kitteh,

    Of cell phone users with blue tooth earpeices: cyborgs, douche bags, or tech-savvy heroes?

    Need to know whether to assimilate or destroy,

    I Borg

  4. dear kitteh,
    1) what do you do if a [enter gender] begins to act like [gender] is engaged with you and only speaks about a ring and how faithful you are. Also, you have never gone on a date with this [gender] nor ever really seen [possesive form of gender] in person…..
    2) what do you do if you have been going out with a [enter gender] since the end of high school and everyone starts pressuring you to get married to [possessive form of gender]. your good friend from college has stuck by your side on the decision of not giving in, but has unexpectedly turned on you to increase the pressure, even though [gender] really does stand by your decision of waiting, [gender]’s just an ass.

    kitteh, what gender are you?

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