A Reason to be Misanthropic

Have a gander at this comment from Reddit.com,

I hardly ever drink plain juice…I always dilute it to half-and-half with multi-step reverse-osmotic water. I can now taste the difference between that and tap water. Give it a try for a month and then go back to tap (if you drink tap water). I bet you can’t.

Multi-step reverse-osmotic water?  Why not drink distilled water and just get right down to leeching the calcium out of our teeth?  We are apes, apes with a large frontal cortex and less hair.  We would fling feces at each other if not for our social norms.  I say this guy would be the first to be eaten on a Lord of the Flies island.  I’d sneak up on him and take a bite while his back was turned and he was busy with his multi-step water osmosis process.  I’m just kidding, for the record.  I do not condone cannibalism. I do, nonetheless, suspect this is the kind of whiney-piney, holistic hoot’an’nanny with which natural selection has its dirty way.

Yes, I know…free country…tastes better…what harm is he doing me…mind my own business…  Thankfully, someone else responded to this guy with a comment that set the world right again,

Reverse-osmotic water? I only drink double reverse-osmotic water that is purified by fire and ice, fluoridated with angel tears and filtered through the happy dreams of young children.

I call it being misanthropic for the sake of misanthropism.  Try it.  It feels good.


~ by wcuk on September 27, 2007.

12 Responses to “A Reason to be Misanthropic”

  1. will,
    apes have less body hair than us, they just have thicker hairs. Sorry for being a smart ass. I type this as I am drinking my vitamin water, which contains reverse osmosis water, the bottle isn’t even sure there is reverse osmosis water in it.

  2. I am not sure I buy it, Jimbo. This guy

    has less hair? Please explain and cite your sources. Also, even if I’m wrong, I am correct by accident, since “less” would refer to the bulk of hair and “fewer” would be the actual number of hairs.

  3. will, you never fail to move me to tears . . .

  4. will,
    please stop posting pictures of your mom, it’s inappropriate…..

  5. a wise guy, eh?

    I hope my mom reads this and loses her respect for you.

  6. “Although humans appear relatively hairless compared to other primates, with notable hair growth occurring chiefly on the top of the head, underarms and pubic area, the average human has more hair follicles on his or her body than the average chimpanzee. The main distinction is that human hairs are shorter, finer, and less heavily pigmented than the average chimpanzee’s, thus making them harder to see.[24]”

  7. does your mom actually read this?

  8. yes

  9. my apologies mrs. cukierski

  10. ack! no last names! you’re ruining the anonymity!

  11. I have a blog and wish to remain anonymous

  12. jim, j00 are teh pwned!!

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