Milky Manchester


Chugga chugga Chugga chugga Chugga chugga
Chooooooooooo Chooooooooooooo
Chugga chugga Chugga chugga Chugga chugga
Chooooooooooo Chooooooooooooo

“Noooooooo … Milky! Watchout! A speeding train is coming your way and you are stuck on the tracks”

*Will dives onto the tracks and pushes Milky to safety, losing his left own leg in the process*

This story is entirely true, except for the part about me saving Milky Manchester’s life by diving in front of a train. The details, however, are not important. What matters is that I would jump in front of the train to save the him. By doing so, I would also save the lives of countless others.

The Manchester plays an 19th century, mahogany air Steinway

Milky Manchester is the DJ for the famed karaoke night a Harvest Moon. He is 1 part friend, 1 part rock star, 1 part MC, and 10 parts better than every other DJ within a 10,000 mile radius of this town. Would I risk life and limb because of his extensive trivia and pop knowledge? Probably not. Would I lose my precious leg as permanent debt so that he puts me on top of the list to sing? Getting warmer, but let’s call it a no. Would I severe my appendages because Milky is a prolific karaokatician? I don’t think so, because I would still have Don, Jenks, Jay#1, Heidi, Mark and Mountain Man for entertainment. Would I selflessly dive in front of Thomas the Tank Engine to save the sanctity of the collective experience we call Thursday night as well as the sacred fire Milky lights in the hearts of all those who cross his fabled stage? Bingo.

Don’t worry. It’s a praise gun. It shoots praise instead of bullets.


We have been to other karaoke nights. We have seen other DJs frantically fumble their CDs in hopes of masking an inherent lameness. In fact, Don once made a 2000 mile journey on foot (eating only rice and drinking only goat blood) to the hills of Tibet to consult the ancient tribe of elders. They told him that what he seeks is not found through arduous journey, but resides inside his heart. We both agree that the monks meant to say “Harvest Moon” instead of heart, because they kind of sound the same and we’re pretty sure that Don does not have a heart.

If a karaoke night happens in the woods, does it make a sound? I’d like to think the answer is no. Milky Manchester chops down the metaphorical trees, so that all can experience an eclectic mix of 80s hits, 90s rock, and expansive renditions of Sister Christian. Philosopher, lumberjack, DJ, rock star, human, demigod, hater of the J&Jsonites, friend of the cyclists, reminderer of tipping to the bartender, bear blaster … Milky is all these things to all of us. My leg is clearly a small price to pay to keep the juggernaut known as Milky Manchester going.

Plus, if I don’t suck up to him by making this post, he will never promote our new band, “The Don and Will Electric Guitar and Conga Drum Experience”




~ by wcuk on October 15, 2007.

One Response to “Milky Manchester”

  1. you can move to the front of the line anytime, Will!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: