The Courage to Help

I received this email today. At first I thought it some kind of super spam because it combines all the greatest hits

  1. Dead widow mother
  2. Ghana
  3. Supporting poor siblings
  4. Father is royalty
  5. Gold fortune (including golden chairs)
  6. The Ivory Coast
  7. BAM. Sister has Leukemia too.
  8. A mind-wrenching omission of spaces after punctuation

I was mostly unimpressed until the “PS” at the bottom. Wow. This guy is for real. Guys, we have to help young Sunny.

hr.jpg

Dearest one,

Good day.I am very sorry for the inconviniences this mail might cause to you,but after going through your profile i decided to solicitate for your help.Although it is not mandatory for you to grant my request.

I am Sunny Joseph,21 years old from Ghana(Accra).I am the eldest of a family of two.( 1 other girl)

It is sad to say that my mother as a widow died 3 months ago.I am faced with difficulties to earn the living of my younger ones and myself.Hence, been my reason for contacting you.

My late father was a successful businessman (moto parts dealer),before he was called to inherit his dad throne as King. As king,he was decorated with Gold worth of $2.5 million and some money worth $3.5m ( Royal Golden Crown,Golden Chairs…etc)

Few hours before her death she brought to my notice that she deposited these Gold in a security company in Ivory Coast and gave me all the contact address of the security company including the certificate of deposit.She also told me that the security company does not know about the content of the box,that she deposited it as a family treasure.

I am therefore solicitating for you to help me retrieve this box from the security company to enable me take sale these items(Gold) and take my younger sister suffering from leukemia to specialist for treatments.I earn the living by doing hard labour jobs(washing plates in restaurants…etc).

I’m therefore pleading you to help me retrieve this box from the security company,sale the Gold inside it so that i can come to your country for specialist(doctors) to restore the life of my only younger sister.

Infact,i am in great need of your humble help,and your suggestion will highly be regarded.Hope to hear from you soon.

May almighty God bless you

Best Regards

Sunny Joseph

PS. I hope the Ph.D go very well at Rutgers.I suggest use nonlinear dimensionality reduction methods for your manifold learning tasks.Also I suggest cross validation when comparing classifiers.Its only way to remove training bias.

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~ by wcuk on October 31, 2007.

4 Responses to “The Courage to Help”

  1. why do you have to put jumps in your posts now?

  2. Ok, now after reading through, this should be your suggestion (remember, it will highly be regarded):

    Sunny,

    Do a NPV analysis of cash flows vis-a-vis your sister’s cancer treatments. Please employ a discount rate that includes a fair spread over the appropriate Treasury instrument that reflects both the risk to capital involved as well as the duration of cancer treatments. Also in your model, please include case situations with fairly assigned probabilities (full remission, control, metastasizing, etc). Take a weighted average of all NPVs and let me know your fair value estimate. I will compare my projected IRR with that of my current investments, taking into account the potential diversification benefits into both gold (crowns and chairs) and emerging markets (Ghana and Ivory Coast).

    Please complete this model and have it on my desk by 8am tomorrow morning.

  3. 1) I will risk the spam flood and actually respond to sunny with these words

    2) I put a jump because some posts (eg: spam posts into which I put 2 licks of effort) do not deserve such front-page real estate. Also my blog is really slow to load due to its graphical content. Viewer discretion is advised (sorry, had to say it).

  4. in addition to npv please factor in your hurdle rate. and i want the damn thing on my desk by 7:30. get it to jenks by 8.

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