Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy.


~ by wcuk on December 27, 2007.

5 Responses to “DRINK COFFEE.”

  1. Dear WCUK proprietor,

    I read your so-called blog post. Not only did it irreversibly alter the structure of at least 3 neural cells in my neocortex, but it also used up 18.74 KB of vital internet capacity.

    You are clogging the tubes, sir or madam, and I won’t stand for it. Please refund my price of admission in full.

    A concerned citizen of the blogosphere

  2. Dear Concerned Citizen,

    Please consider the option of swiftly dying.

    Warmest Salutations,

  3. Proprietor,

    While it is often difficult to accurately interpret tone from written language, it is clear that your response was written with subtle enmity, confrontational undertones, and a hint of hops. Frankly, I expected more from the Heir to the Throne of the United Kingdom.

    It is with the deepest regret that I inform you that I will be contacting the Better Blogging Bureau and reporting this breach of the Flame Wars Treatise of 2004. You have brought this upon yourself, sir or madam.

    not lol at all,
    Concerned Citizen

  4. Dear Concerned Citizen,

    I took the liberty of informing our upper management of your discontent regarding our product, the wcuk blog. Mr. William responded personally with the following memo:

    At wcuk, we strive to write as little as possible and remain markedly defensive when this fact is raised in public. On behalf of my staff of trained monkey bloggers, I extend my apologies and will make the changes necessary for better posts in the future. In the meantime, please accept this wcuk logo denim jacket and pencil case as reward for your brand loyalty. If there is anything further I can do to assist you, please send a request to RetardCustomerComplaints@wcuk.wordpress.com.

    Warmest Salutations,

  5. Mr. William,

    Your apology, while admirably contrite and laced with materialistic hand-waving, is simply too little too late. Your heartfelt words soothe my wounded spirit like Embrocation Oil on a chafed crotch. Your thinly-veiled bribery lacks the anima and the rhinestones that I so crave.

    My faith in your product has been shaken at its very foundations. I’m not even convinced that RetardCustomerComplaints@wcuk.wordpress.com is even a legitimate email address.

    No, this just won’t suffice. Please be informed that henceforth, I will be patronizing your competitors over at wuck.wordpress.com. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy on your soul.

    Concerned Citizen

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