Diet soda will kill you, travel back in time with your corpse, and kill you a second time using your own skull.

According to a study done by real scientists with beakers and test tubes and flasks and science,

“the risk of developing metabolic syndrome was 34 percent higher among those who drank one can of diet soda a day compared with those who drank none.”

The NYTimes headline says: Metabolic Syndrome Is Tied to Diet Soda

The public conception says: Drinking diet soda will make you fat.

I says: Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, the people who drink diet sodas are predisposed to already being fat and diabetic? At the time of this writing, there are 138 up votes and 72 down votes on the Reddit article above. That means there are 138 independent, free-thinking people who fell into the correlation/causation chasm and now lay as bloody, disfigured lumps at the bottom. May the vultures of logic pick over their useless brains and glean some semblance of nutrition from the otherwise-wasted tissue.

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~ by wcuk on February 11, 2008.

6 Responses to “Diet soda will kill you, travel back in time with your corpse, and kill you a second time using your own skull.”

  1. I agree!

  2. In related news, cars are involved in 100% of drunk driving accidents. Ban cars!

  3. No, it means that there are 138 people avoiding work and 72 trolls

  4. and why do you drink diet pepsi?

  5. I drink diet soda because I don’t like consuming eight thousand teaspoons of sugar when I have a 12oz soda.

  6. money, just money

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